Category: the Rant Board
ok I know that is spelt wrong! but I thought I would keep it like that so that Jaws would emphasise the Ass! I feel angry, enraged, outraged.. this afternoon I spent money on a cab fare to one of the more low end supermarkets! (liddle) on arrival I approached one of the casheers and asked if someone could help me with my shopping. She rang the bell for someone to come and after a few minutes the manager came and told her that no one could help me with my shopping because they didn't have the staff, he then pushed me out the way and ignored me completely. To her credit the casheer persisted and said that I could not shop on my own but he got irate and said again that they did not have the staff. So then she beckoned her colleague over who had finished serving at his till and asked him to accompany me. So he walks me round the shop and we are almost finished when the manager approaches this guy and says that he can not help me finish my shopping because he needs to be doing something else. Again-he completely ignores me. By this time I am seething and manage to intercept him. I asked him if he was aware that he was breaking the law and said that he would be in the local news paper in a few days time, this did not seem to concern him much-he just repeated that they were understaffed. So I leave without my shopping and have to pay for the cab fare home. I'm fairly set on contacting the news paper and possibly the trading standards since it is in breach of the DDA. In a way what is holding me back is knowing that I will be portrayed as this pathetic blind girl who needs help with her shopping-its kind of a personal issue! strangers do not need to know what I need help with etc. I know that people will approach me on the street about it and from past experience I know that it almost creates a barrier between me and other people. I am the girl in the paper who people know about but no one actually knows me because they just want to know how things have been since the news story .. its like when people ask me about my cane or ask me something about being blind it just feels alienating! other people seem to get asked out on coffee dates by acquaintances but we just seem to be probed and prodded about blind issues so that the sighted person in question can go home or to work and announce that they had a conversation with the blind girl!I'm not paranoid honest! or if I am I have at least put it on the rant board and no one has stipulated that rants need to be vallid or justified!
I'd do it if I were you. Because if they'll do that to you they won't hesitate to treat someone else the same way. They can't be allowed to continue to get away with bullshit like that.
The world has definitely changed. It is not the 1950's anymore. I am finding more and more I need to call ahead to make sure someone will be available to help me in a store. Have been on my own for quyite a while and through the years, have noticed stores have become understaffed; they expect too few people to do a lot of work. And, if English isn't the language of a staff member, they are unable to read my list. Or, the person may be mentally challenged. So to make a long story short, I call ahead to make sure I can get help who can serve me well.
I had the same issues with the store I have shopped at for three years.
The gal I talked to was a little put out when I asked her if I could get a personal shopper. They never use to be that way. I couldn't believe it!
I think after tomorrow when my sister takes me, I am going to change stores I feel like cutting my awards card right in front of them and telling them to take this business and shove it up there rosey red ass.
Who ever made this board, thank you! I feel better.
for all they know I could have spent a hundred pounds in their store! anyway I now know for sure that they are in breech of the equality act 2010. I have filed a complaint with trading standards, I have complained to the store headquarters .. although when I described what had happened the woman's first question was "do you know what the manager looked like?" seriously! the local news paper are also covering the story! I am having a photo done outside the store this afternoon. I am pleased that I am pursuing this because I do want justice but I do sort of feel resentful that strangers on the street etc will know what things I need help with just from reading the paper-I know I shouldn't feel embarrased about it but I sort of do!
I think calling ahead in these situations is always the best practice. It takes all of 5 to 10 minutes and may save you - and the store, theater, whatever - a lot of confusion or inconvenience. It's rude not to assist a paying customer while they spend their money, but it's also smart for the customer to know where to spend.
I certainly don't think you're wrong, and the way they handled the situation is beyond rude, but I do agree with Miss Em and others. Calling ahead should help. and if it doesn't, at least you can say you tried everything you possibly could. and if it doesn't help, you really shouldn't shop at that store again, unless it's the only grocery store you can get to.
Yes, maybe she should have called ahead. Point taken, I think. But the fact is, the store was dead in the wrong on this one. They broke the law, not to mention terrible customer service. Whether she called ahead or not, the store was still obligated to offer assistance, and did not do so.
Villanelle, I know why you're unhappy about having to take this public. It's hard enough, always getting probed with stupid or intrusive questions about our blindness, and how we do things as blind people. But I'm glad you're pursuing this, and I hope it gets you somewhere. I hope it makes this store look like the asshole idiots they are. So, much as there's a downside, I think you're doing the right thing, and am glad you are.
O, I definitely agree with you. She doesn't *owe* it to them to call ahead, nor does anyone. But they are providing you a service. a necessary one, yes, but calling ahead is basically saying: Hi. I'm going to be keeping one of your staff member's hands tied for a good while, so if this will be an issue for you, now is your chance to call someone else in. I'm not saying that's how you should say it, but that's kind of what it implies.
a simular thing has happen to me in the states here in raleigh NC, I had to call wal-mart's head quorters file a complaint. As it stands, so far they have not pulled that crap on me again, I have spent a crap load at that store out of my own pocket.
well I doubt they even have a helpline much less that someone would answer! Well as I said the local paper are running with the story. Of course they have to get the store's take on things and the manager is claiming that contrary to what I said he was only taking the shop assistant for a few minutes and that he was going to come back and assist me. This makes me furious! it did not happen like that! I don't have a clue what happened to my shopping-it was just taken from me-the manager made out that it was purely my decision to leave the store. At no point did he say that anyone would return to help me or I would not be filing this complaint! I've really lost heart with the hole thing-what's the point in trying to have a discussion when they are basically lying to try and protect themselves. its a closed door!
Don't be disheartened. I'm sure there are plenty of people who believe your side of the story. You did the right thing by filing complaints and contacting the media. People need to be aware that this kind of thing is happening, and as someone else said, they'll do it again and again if they're not called on it. I wouldn't be embarrassed that people will know that you shop with customer service representatives. After all, it stands to reason that blind people who prefer not to shop with family or friends would seek the assistance of a store employee. I do it myself most of the time. And even though it is true that a lot of people think that we are defined by our blindness and so always bring it up in every conversation, there are plenty of people that like us for who we are.
I will say this though: Judging by the other posts on this topic, it seems to be a common practice for store management to ask blind customers to call ahead and reserve an assistant. Personally, I don't know what our laws in the U.S. say about assistance for people with disabilities in stores and other such places, but I don't think that calling ahead is an unreasonable thing to request. I've been shopping at the same Kroger for two years, and because of their increased flow of customers, they've recently asked me to call a week in advance so that they can schedule someone to help me. They were very nice about it, though. Now, sometimes I don't have a week's notice when I need to go to the store, and in those instances I simply go to a different Kroger.
I hope the asshole who runs that store learns his lesson.
Becky
Wow, I certainly wouldn't shop at that store again.
Yes calling ahead is good. If I don't call ahead and I can't get help I don't get mad.
I have been lucky and have friends that will do this for me, so I haven't run in to issues. Only once was I not able to get help, so I just left.
Rudeness is wrong, so you did the correct thing. I'd hope that reading your story might bring someone from your community to offer to assist you.
Last if might be helpful to make a list of the items you want and let the staff just brab them quickly. This doesn't save you any money, but will get you the things you need. If you need some actual shopping, meaning, you want to compare pricing, put an add in that same paper and see if you can't get someone that will help you once a week or so.
Firstly, is there actually a law that says that a shop assistant is obligated to help with somebody's shopping if he/she is unable to do so? I wouldn't have thought this was encompassed within the Discrimination act, though I'm happy to be corrected.
Second, I understand your frustration, even anger, but it is not the fault of management that you are blind, need assistance, and/or do not have anybody to help you to shop.
In addition to previous suggestions, I would suggest attempting to adopt a more pleasant attitude when being confronted with these people. Call up beforehand and state thath you are a paying customer who requires a little extra assistance.
Like it or not, you are an inconvenience to them, and your hostile attitude will not change either their number of staff or their likelyhood to warm to you as a person.
I also think compiling a list of essentials before visiting the store is a good idea.
I often think blind people are far too hasty to cry discrimination for something they themselves can actively attempt either to solve or minimise.
I totally agree with the last post. It's a tough fact to face that we are an inconvenience to a store, especially if we have nobody to help, but a good attitude goes a long way.
I agree with the last two posts: the best way to handle shopping is to have someone you know and trust, a family member or close friend, take you. Believe me this is much easier and faster than relying on a complete stranger who doesn't know your shopping habits and is probably earning minimum wage to work there. The few people that take me shopping know what I usually buy, so we can go through the store in a shorter period of time plus I always have a list anyway so I don't forget anything. But, if you have no one to help you than calling a few days ahead and having a complete list of everything you need is probably the best option.
having the particular attitude that you do certainly doesn't, and won't encourage nice/helpful treatment from others.
sure there are always nasty people, but having a confident, know what you need/being respectful about those things, and what you won't settle for, attitude will get you much further in life.
Well I can agree with the last post, but we aren't sure what her demeanor was then.
Allowing a blind person to start shopping and leaving it alone for a while, than coming over and pulling the help is rude. It is like allowing a sighted person to shop, come to the counter to pay and telling them you have no one available to check them out, so they have to come back later.
He saw she was blind, and being blind was probably going to need that person's help. He was just rude, and that is not nice at all. I am sure whatever it was needed to be done could have waited a little while.
Maybe a better thing would have been to say "I can only allow my staff to help you for 15 or 20 more minutes, so if you maybe get the things you have to have and come back later. I am sorry, but we are really understaffed today. That would have been better. If she had than acted a fool, than you'd be totally correct. An option could have been given.
I agree with Forereel. There is no evidence to suggest that Villanelle acted in a way that would justify the management's treatment of her. It seems to me that she had every right to be angry at receiving this treatment, and it also appears that she did what Chelsea suggested by standing up for her rights and being assertive. Furthermore, at no point did Villanelle even imply that her blindness and her need for assistance were the fault of the store management. However, if the management is, in fact, in violation of the Equality Act, then they are indeed at fault.
One of the obstacles we as people with disabilities face when fighting for our rights is the view by others that we are a burden... or an inconvenience. And if we think of ourselves that way, then it will be no challenge at all for those types of people to walk all over us. And the fact remains that in cases like these, if store management is legally obligated to assist a customer with a disability, then that is what they must do. And if they're given enough notice, then they'd be hard-pressed to claim inconvenience.
Becky
First, of course we only have Vilanelle's side of the story, but from all I have read, it seems her attitude was just fine. Given her posts, it sounds like she was assertive, but not aggressive or hostile. We have the right, even the necessity, to be assertive. Even had she been more aggressive than it appears she was, that does not justify how she was treated by this store's management. Nothing justifies that. We as blind people may need some extra assistance, but our business and our money is just as valuable as the next customer's. It would be unacceptable for a business to treat a sighted customer in this manner, and yet some of you here think that because we need some extra help we should accept substandard treatment? Personally, several of the last few posts have infuriated me, particularly sjtaylor. You're blaming Vilanelle for asking for equal access and then being upset when she was treated so poorly for no reason other than that? How pathetic and low to blame someone for using alternative techniques to live independently, and expecting equal treatment. Unbelievable.
I agree. Because we can't always expect to have friends or family members be available to take us shopping. And if we really need groceries and no friends or family are available to help us (not an uncommon scenario believe it or not), what's our only option? Getting help from someone at the store. And I agree with Sister Dawn and others. As long as she wasn't rude or hostile herself there was absolutely no justification for her treatment at that store. My response would have been to ask the manager what would be more inconvenient for them, helping me himself or getting another employee to do it, or paying someone to label every single product in the store with braille labels, which of course they'd need to do every time they received new shipments of the product. That's actually worked for me and many others on more than one occasion. I believe the exchange went something along these lines.
Me: I'm going to need some assistance with shopping. Is there any way that can be aranged?
Customer Service person: We don't do that.
Me: Then are all the products in the store labeled with braille?
Rep: Uh no. We don't do that either.
Me: So what are blind shoppers supposed to do? We can't always get our friends or families to help us.
Rep: Um?
Me: Look at it this way. Which would be more inconvenient for you, braille labeling every single product, which you would have to do every time a new shipment of the product came in, or just having a store employee guide the blind shopper to whatever he or she needs?
Rep: We'll get someone up here to help you.
regarding my post, I wasn't trying to imply that the original poster had a crappy attitude.
but, personally, I would've gone about it by calling ahead as has been suggested, or telling the customer service people/whoever it is that's giving you a hard time that I just won't shop there anymore.
most places want your business, so they won't turn you away. if they do, would you really wanna shop there in the first place?
I agree. I certainly wouldn't shop at a place like that again. Imagine if something like that happened in a very small town where there were only one or two big grocery stores from which to choose. That would really suck. And Brian, I like that scenario you created. I could picture it perfectly in my head. lol. Also, you make a good point about not always being able to shop with family or friends. Personally, I prefer to shop with store employees because they know the layout of the store and will presumably know where to find most items. Family and friends may not always be available. And let's face it, family and friends will sometimes flake out, whereas store employees are being paid to assist shoppers.
Becky
I agree with Becky. If there is another store in town it would be feasible to tell a rude customer service rep you'll be using te other store. But I have occasionally lived it towns small enough to have just one grocery store, and in that situation you obviously can't necessarily say you won't shop there if someone's being rude, particularly if it's not feasible for you to go to another town to shop. But like I said I have actually had success with the scenario I outlined. So have many others. And in fact it was a teacher of te blind who first suggested it to me since that was how he got one of the big grocery stores in Portland, Oregon to start providing shopping assistants.
I do live in a relatively small town so there are in fact only a handfull of grocery stores to choose from. I don't shop with friends or family, my family do not live close by and even if they did I don't feel that blindness justifies getting one of them to help me shop when I am a grown woman but I understand that others may feel differently about it. As for friends, they are just that, my friends! I don't always get to see them that often so when I do I am definitely not going to ask them to help me with my shopping! I don't feel that I was at all hostile at any point! when I arrived I pleasantly asked the store rep if I could possibly have some help with my shopping. Even when the manager came and told her that they were unable to do that I still did not say anything. It was only when he came and prevented the store rep from continuing to help me that I said what I did. Largely that was based on the fact that he did not communicate with me-it was like I was invisible-the only dialogue was between him and the guy helping me which I felt was very rude. I don't know about the US but in the UK the equality act 2010 does state clearly that all stores are supposed to provide reasonable adjustments for disabled people including helping us locate products and reading labels-feel free to check up on it! as for it not being the manager's fault that I am blind-that seems a rather crazy suggestion! I don't feel I should go around apologizing to every sighted person that I come in contact with for the fact that I am blind.
Hear hear, Villanelle!
Exactly. It may not be the manager's fault that she's blind but it would be the manager's fault if by his actions the store lost a customer and by extention others if she spread the word. And qite frankly I would in her position. I would want people to know that I had an unfavorable experience in a given business and to be wary of it themselves. So far I haven't had many such experiences since usually asking them if they were prepared to braille label every product in the store was enough to get them to realize the sense in providing assistance in other, less time-consuming ways. And if the law over there does require it then I'd say se'd be justified in taking action, particularly if it persisted.
Also I believe doing anything blindness related with family and friends is extremely unwise. First, they are not objective and have some idea of what they think you should get or would want, and business transactions must be objective, period.
Second, equally important, people will resent you. Especially family and friends. Resentment is an extremely common human emotion, which probably has an evolutionary basis. It goes with the need for protecting one's own resources, and, again, is entirely inescapable except by removing yourself from the situation.
Third, whenever you ask a family member or close friend for assistance, that is what they will remember most: not all the tens of thousands of times that you did not. So in their mind even if there is a ten year lapse in between times, that is what they will remember. If they are having a good day, you are likely to perhaps be lucky. But if, unbenounced to you, you are the straw that broke the camel's back, you may easily wish you'd never done it.
Guys may just flake on you, which iss pretty easy, if inconvenient, to deal with. But chicks will most often do items 2 and 3 above.
The travesty is when you live in a limited situation, where you can't transport yourself around successfully, like being in the middle of the burbs out of the way of stores, buses, trains, etc. I have lived both, unfortunately, and in the city is far better.Nothing compares to one's human ddignity.
OH boy, Leo, you said a mouthful!
All of this is so true, particularly the bit about family remembering that you *couldn't* accomplish an errand independently, even if it was years ago,and a minor erand and didn't require much time! NO matter how long I've lived on my own, and in another city from my family, my mother persists in believing I am helpless. My mother once said she didn't want to have to "haul" me around! So yes, maintain whatever dignity you can, and ask as little as possible from people you see often. It is sad that we have to feel that we are in some ways a burden to people. It's hard to shake that feeling.
It was impressed upon me as a child to be as quiet and invisible as possible, and unfortunately that feeling of being a problem for people extends into adulthood. Rationally, I know I should not need to feel that way, or to apologize because I"m blind, yet I've curtailed shopping excursions, gotten items that weren't exactly what I wanted, on occasion, just to quickly finish my business.
Vilanelle, it sounds as though you handled the situation very well. You're lucky to have some recourse. I hope your next experience is free of this sort of annoyance. Sounds like the guy just felt like being an ass, that day--decided he was in the mood for an altercation with someone.
I wonder what a person could do about this, in the states. I know of no laws that pertain to this; I'll have to Google it.
I'd have been upset about spending the cab fare, too. Certainly that is no one else's fault, but many of us live on such slim income that it's not as if it's feasible just to spend another sum to return to a store another day.
OH, and Becky mentioned having to call a week in advance, which just seems outrageous, to me. Yes, call a day or maybe two ahead, but a week?
Hello. I know we don't have laws spefically pertaining to this crazy ass situation here in the states like they do in other countries, but clearly there is a need.
I understand that some people may feel like this is really no big deal, or like Villanelle could have called ahead, Etc. But I don't agree! When I'm out doing things with my day, and decide I want to go grocery shopping, I have the right to walk into my local store, and spend the same valued money as any sighted person in the store. I should not have to call into a place where most of the people in need of help are sighted, and do not have to call in. Additionally, when Villanelle went into this store the Manager did not ask if she could give someone the list to be filled when the time was bettter, or if he could help her! He saw her blindness, and simply assumed she'd take up too much time. That is completely unacceptable.
If you have family/friends who're willing to take ya shopping, you've got the right to use them. If ya want to call ahead, you've got the right to do that. But merely calling ahead because you're blind is craziness to me. I know how embarrassing it is to put yourself in the spot light by protesting shit like this is. But it is needed in order to bring all of us up to equal status across the board. I'm just sorry it had to be over something that could have been so simply solved by that Manager just letting his coworker complete the damn shopping, taking her money, and her leaving the store.